My Identity

I will NOT allow anyone to tell me where i am from.

I will choose where i belong. I am sick of being asked where i am from and when i answer:

“I’m a New-Zealander.” They say, “Yeah but where are you ORIGINALLY from?”

When i say “I am Iraqi” they say, “But you’re not really fully from there.”

When i say, “I am Syrian.” they say, “No thats where your mum is from.”

And when i say, “I am Egyptian.” they say, “Quarter of your blood is not your blood at all.”

And when i finally give up and say, “I am a citizen of this world.” they say, “Man she thinks she is superior, she is way up herself.”

Enough.

I will not allow a single human being decide what i call home and what i identify myself as.

If i say Jannah/Heaven is my home, then so be it, because you are nothing in my life to judge me.

I am filisteen, masr, sooriya, jordon, 3ira8, tunisia, algeria, libya, afghanistan, pakistan, tajikstan, i am the rohingya, i am me.

I am a Muslim, i am an Arab and i am proud and if you want to know where i belong then i belong to wherever it is you belong, because darling if we really look at ourselves then we dont belong to one specific label, unless it is  the label of humanity and I, sir, am a human!

Short post, but nothing more to say, heres to all the half cast internationals out there, i feel you.
May Allah bless you all ,

A fed up teenager

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Always unexpected

You know, us humans are really weird.
I’m not sure if we were always like this, but right now it’s all I’m seeing.
Weird in the sense that why are we so afraid to show what we really mean or say? Or embarrassed even?

This is my personal thoughts, so you may oppose and your opinions may differ and if you do have a different opinion then good! Because it means you’re not getting hurt by people who do this to me constantly.

Since i was i dont know how old, these humans i’ve met in my mind have confirmed to me that i shouldnt trust anyone, but i don’t know why i always feel the need to give it one more shot.
Well I’m not fricking bulletproof, those things you do do effect me, the bullet does hit me and i do get hurt.

What I’m talking about is when you befriend someone and you become close to them and sooner or later (and for me its usually sooner) they just leave. 
And you still give, and give and give and give and they just, they just don’t care to put it simply. And because once upon a time that person was actually an important role in your life, you still try and try and try and nothing happens in return.
I’m giving you my all, and even now when I’m halfway across the world, i have your best interest at heart, i still worry about you and nothing. 

Its just really tiring sitting at the end of the table and watching people get up and leave with no warning, no excuse and never come back.
Even the people who didn’t make it easy for me, people who gave me a hard time,when they finally speak to me and act nice, i actually put in an effort into making it work but then again they’re the same.

I’m sick of feeling this way. I have feelings too. And just like you want to be treated fairly with love and compassion and respect, i want that, too.

But I’ve come to the conclusion i won’t find that with anyone here on earth. 
I constantly support and do what i can and they dont do the simplest things, just acknowledge my existence. 
You on your own, sitting in your room by yourself suddenly think of me, and casually out of nowhere ask how i’m doing, that would mean a lot. 
But I’m done expecting, because humans are so….

I just hope no one ever has to feel alone and always on guard and paranoid. 
Spread those smiles around and learn to love and be selfless….

Its tiring to feel this way all the time.

Missions and Matters

Have you ever had one of these phases in life where you have a mission?

Maybe its a mission to help someone for a period of time with something.
Maybe its a mission to  higher your grades.
Maybe its a mission to change.
Maybe its a mission to maintain a friendship.

The list goes on and on and on and on.
And in these moments, most of us find ourselves completely and utterly lost.
Lost in so many ways. Things arent going the way you expected, disrespect from colleagues/ friends/ family, too much pressure, and your mind cant thing clearly and you dont know how to react.

Again and again i’ll say this, no matter what age you are, we all deal with the same feelings, different situations- yes, but otherwise, our feelings are all there.
A 45 year old may look at a 35 year old and say, ‘thats the golden age, when everythings sorted, they have no idea what a problem really is.’ And a 35 year old may look at a 23 year old and think the same. And the same with a 17 year old to a 12 year old.

So yes, some problems may be more difficult than others, but we all have the same emotions to deal with.

Anyways, my point here is that, there will always be that person who builts a brick in front of you. And each day a brick is put, the higher the wall becomes. Im here to tell you, dont let it come to that, dont let that wall get too high that your standing there with no weapons in your hands, and no one to help you break that wall down.
What you need to do is shut everyone else out and focus on your goal, on your mission. Whether its short term or long term.

Many may think this is all so very corny, but this is the truth. I bet you every 10 seconds someone is frustrated and wanting to give up on whatever it is theyre going through or doing.

“It’s not the cards you’re dealt it’s how you play the game” via Chris Pardo

So that quote explains alot actually, who cares if there is something or someone in your life thats making everything a little harder for you, its up to you to decide what to prioritize.
Sort of like that very popular phrase, “When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.” But instead of that, you can add your on twist. How bout making a Lemon Cheesecake?
Or maybe smear it all of your hair for a change! Make your very own lemon tea.

My point is, be creative! Think of ways to deal with the situation instead of giving up, because really, if we do think negatively, we’re really only hurting ourselves in the end.
Its our future, our choices, so lets choose them wisely.

And to end this, heres a little poem i came across recently, and i hope it will make you smile and inspire you a little bit more:

Just One
Unknown

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey.
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what’s true,

One life can make a difference,
You see, it’s up to you!

Wishing you the best in life,

Another Teenager