(First and foremost this post isn’t about one person specifically, its very general.)
They ask me why I wanted so badly to leave. Why I wanted to go back home and find my identity. Why I couldn’t stand being there a second longer. Why I couldn’t take being with them for further than that.
Because when we cry at night, we cry for very different reasons.
You’re crying about a lovers quarrel and puppy love or how your favorite fictional character from a t.v. show has just died.
I shed tears for all the cruel bloodshed that’s happening in many places around the world.
I cry because I am scared…I am terrified that I will never be good enough. That I will never be strong enough to make any sort of change or impact in this merciless world.
While you strut around taking photographs of a coffee at Starbuks, or a happy meal at McDonalds, my mind is too busy racing trying to plan a demonstration against these places and thinking of ways to convince people to stop spending even a penny towards weapons used against unarmed and innocent civilians in Palestine.
And though you have an Arabic background, you so proudly claim, “America is my home!” How? How can you admit to that when they are the reason that your ancestors have been robbed off of their true home?
And although I have never been to any one of the countries I am originally from, I will still proudly claim any day where I am from!
We speak so much about doing things and speaking out. And yet…when we are put in the situation and that position you left me and walked away choosing silence over virtue and basic morals.
Yes… I am sensitive and shed tears quite a lot but I will always have a sort of fierceness and pride that fuels my strength to continue doing whatever it is I can do.
But in my heart I have a sadness, that kind when you feel like something is squeezing your heart and you can’t seem to get rid of it. Because I know in the heart of my heart, that you could be wonderful and have a massive effect if you finally let yourself speak.
For too long….for too long I have been saying and using the excuse…. ‘But I’m only 15.’ ‘But I’m only 16’ ‘But I’m only 17.’ That’s not what the typical 11 year old of Syria nowadays and Gaza said when his parents were murdered and has to take upon raising his sibling alone.
When we were 12 we were too busy running around and having fun, creating good memories with our families completely oblivious to the fact that there is someone our age trying to run a family.
The thing is, I love you my friend, I really do. But I’m struggling to keep up on who is dating who and boybands and materialistic things. I’m struggling with finding more reasons to try and respect you when you won’t even spare a minute to look up a video on what is happening to your people rather than the latest mainstream song.
My friend, I am not trying to scold you, I am just trying to finally let yourself open your eyes.
That we’re as young right now in this moment as we will ever be. And our actions right now are what’s important. You underestimate how much effect you can cause if you take the initiative and first step towards helping those who need us.
It won’t always be easy. At even younger than I am now, I have been looked down upon from my own friends whenever I spoke of what is happening around the world and how we need to step up and raise our voices. I have been ridiculed and scoffed at when I spoke of revolutions.
I have made my opinions heard on any online site I could because it was the closest thing to taking action I could do from where I lived. And I have been humiliated publicly. I have been called the worst of names. But do you think that has stopped me?
Do you think that made me disappear and resort into becoming a ‘typical and ordinary teenager’?
I’m still here. I’m still writing. And I will continue on speaking my mind out and writing.
I have as far as I can remember loved speaking and saying the truth but I by no means am saying that I was always this way in specific. Growing up, I’ve had my share of rebel youth stages. It’s understandable.
And some might argue that even now, I have a sense of immaturity in me. But so what?
You can still hold on to both sides of your world.
You will still make jokes, and listen to music and watch the latest episode, but at least now you are also making a change.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sa) said:
“He who removes from a believer one of his difficulties of this world, Allah will remove one of his troubles on the Day of Resurrection; and he who finds relief for a hard-pressed person, Allah will make things easy for him on the Day of Resurrection; he who covers up (the faults and sins) of a Muslim, Allah will cover up (his faults and sins) in this world and in the Hereafter. Allah supports His slave as long as the slave is supportive of his brother…” [Muslim]
Change. Speak up. Do something….I dare you.