Daily Prompt: Flawed. Stutters And Sensitivity

‘Its our imperfections that make us beautiful.’

To anyone writing about this specific topic, just remember that. That no matter what our flaws are, they are what make us unique.

Just to be clear before i begin pointing my own flaws, i wont be talking about my physical/ biological flaws( at least i dont think they go under that category), because if i had to talk about that then…well it wouldnt be such a good idea, to be honest.
Its more emotional/ psychological but in the non dramatic way.

Its exactly as my title reads. I have two flaws that I’m not a very big fan of: Stuttering and Being Overly Sensitive.
Now, you’re probably thinking that contradicts what i wrote at the beginning, but hear me out.
I dont mind being sensitive, everyone SHOULD be sensitive, but with me its like i see two minutes of a ten minute clip of war movie and you’ll find me crying my eyes out and thats not exactly going to help me out in the future.

So, lets go back a step, and let me start from scratch.
I have many flaws. But the two that i would prioritize to improve.
Now, i dont stutter prominently, thats not the case with me. This is probably the best way to explain it: Most of the time, if I’m in a heated argument and I’m debating something i truly believe in and am passionate about, i tend to stutter midway through the conversation.
Its happened many times, and well it ruins everything.

I remember i was debating against a a student representing France in the Human Rights Committee, and i was so into it and i was getting cheered on and then bam! The stuttering decides it wants to join in on the action. And well…the whole house begins to laugh. Now luckily at that time, i didnt storm out crying, i stood my ground and laughed with them, and continued my point.
Thats just one of many examples, and seeing as I’m entering Law, this could be a problem. I can just imagine myself standing in front of the high court, defending a serious HR case, and all of a sudden begin to stutter and i would hate it if that really happened.
But i guess some people find that cute? If I heard someone else stuttering in some situations, i would probably think so, too. But since its ME who this applies to, i find it rather annoying on my behalf.
Now dont get me wrong, I dont think stuttering is something to be ashamed of, my own little sister stutters alot, but it is something that holds everyone back and it would be wonderful if people go to speak without that little monster interrupting them.

Okay so my second flaw would be: Sensitivity.

I. Hate. Being. Overly. Sensitive.
I am not even kidding here, when i was 10, we were watching Oprah and she was talking about self harming and i went to my room and couldn’t stop crying. I cry about almost everything. Not because i want to, be sure thats not what i want, its just like this thing, where i feel strongly about everything.
And while its a beautiful thing to always sympathize with issues, it isnt the best thing in the world to show too much sympathy. And its happened in front of situations where i would cry in front of someone i was fighting with and it just overall isnt nice because it  shows your weakness.
I have gotten better within the last year though, swallowing hard at times seems to stop the tears from falling but i still need to work hard on not showing too much emotions, especially before i start Uni.

And just on a last note, something extremely funny i heard once when my teacher saw me crying that made me laugh in the midst of my pointless former highschool drama. I was crying and in the moment and i go to class and my teacher casually says, “You know, Shay, if someone were to ever propose to you, let your mum slap you a few times and go in there, you look prettier when you cry.”
That was probably the randomest thing i ever heard a teacher saying, i just stood there like. What?

Haha, it was funny though. But yeah, seriously, you’re all beautiful unless you’re simply a mean person on the inside (most polite way i can put it?)  So our flaws can be fixed, but its up to us, and if we choose not to fix them, thats alright, too, Because that it was makes us different and Brilliant 🙂

“I don’t know. Just because someone’s pretty doesn’t mean she’s decent. Or vice versa. I’m not into appearances. I like flaws, I think they make things interesting.” 
― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

 And there you have it =)

Embrace who you are Always,

Shay Arif. 

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